I've always believed in God. He was the Man that hung from the cross with a look of devastation. He was the One I was required to repent to at least every two weeks. He watched over me at night as I lay my head to sleep. Yep, I've always believed in Him ,but having a relationship...well that put a whole new twist to how I saw the Man.
I didn't understand how I could have a relationship with someone that I only called upon in times of need, in times of desperation or when required by my mother's law. Yet, years later I will find myself in daily exchange with my Savior. My questions run deep and I am childlike in my approach.
There are days that I wonder my purpose, the plot behind my story. I'm in awe of how He has written the chapters of my life. He has prepared before me the path that will give me perspective. The Author has taken the pen of life and glided across a canvas that to me seems scribbled and illegible.
Until....
The day comes when you will find yourself reliving your every mistake. You will live the past regret and pain so that maybe you can spare another. Your words are bitter and distasteful, but you feel a since of atonement. You're yet again walking through the fiery pits of hell, but this time your feet stand on solid ground. The roots of faith have been buried deep into your heart and soul. He has a hold of you and this time around you're "Cross Eyed". You realize that God's purpose was not for a great void. He would use your pain to save another.
Yep, I believe in Him. I believe that He no longer is on that cross, but is with me everyday. That look that I once saw as devastating-I now feel as deep abundant love. My childlike questions and mistakes will continue however my Redeemer, my Savior, my Father goes before me to prepare the way.
