Bold

I often wonder if I could ask God -would He consider me bold?  Would He look down on me and consider all that I do in His Name honorable and up to His standards?  It's a tough question-one that I'm not sure I want to know the answer.  I guess it's because deep down inside I may know the response.

I know when I sit alone with Him I'm bold in my faith, I'm fearless in my beliefs, daring in my vision, and courageous in prayer.  Do I carry that when I walk out the door?  I start the day wanting- the full desire to lead my life and go from dawn to dark this way, but then the madness creeps in and things can begin to change.  I begin to see my faith waver, fear sets in, my vision is blurred by the chaos of this crazy world.

I take a grip to the hope that is Him and prayer keeps me afloat.  It's the line of communication that gives me  the spiritual energy I need to get through another day. I cannot be the person He calls me to be without His guidance, therefore I cannot be bold on my own.

I live my life as close to His will as humanly possible-which means I fall short every day.  He gets that-He expects me to fall short.  I strongly believe that it's what I do after my convictions and with what He's taught me that's important. So, I will make mistakes, I will pray for forgiveness.  I will fall, but I will rise with His strength.  I will love-with the heart of Jesus.  I will be bold-with human knees shaking but with the Hands of God holding me.  



For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13

HIs Words, His Timing, His Path!

Life's been pretty slow this week.  Taking some time off has really had some advantages.  I mean not only is my house clean, but I've really had some quiet, quiet time with God.  

It's amazing what you hear in the silence of your home when it's just you and Him.  I get up early in the morning before everyone else and spend time with Him, but it's not the same.  Some how the silence is SILENT!  I guess it's because I know that the chance of a teenager slamming the restroom door isn't going to happen.  

He's given me so much to think about in the last three days.  Where I've been and where I'm going.  I thought about how I will use what I've learn in the next chapter.  He's also showing me that my past is still there and that He still wants me to finish His work there. Don't get me wrong-I love the idea.  My past-I love that portion of my past.  I love the people in it.  So, I love hearing from them and hearing Him whisper into my heart what He wants me to say.  After all the words are His-not my own.

I'm currently reading Ezekiel and I've learn that Ezekiel visions were extraordinary-to say the least. His eyes were glaring at living beings with wings and with rims (yes rims!) that had eyes all round them.  He was called to be a messenger for God.  God would provide the strength Ezekiel would need to approach the people of Israel.  

"But look, I have made you as obstinate and hard-hearted as they are.  I have made your forehead as hard as the hardest rock!  So don't be afraid of them or fear their angry looks, even though they are rebels." Ezekiel 3:8-9  

I think that statement speaks to both my past and my future. ( that explains a lot about why I'm so stubborn!) But, I don't have to worry because if I choose to walk His walk and His path-then I'm not alone.

My words are not my own and I must not make them about me.  

"Then He added, 'Son of man, let all my words sink deep into your own heart first.  Listen to them carefully for yourself.  Then go to your people in exile and say to them. " This is what the Sovereign Lord says!"  Do this whether they listen to you or not."  Ezekiel 3:10-11

He's so amazing! I know that His timing is always perfect because if anything it just needed to be the words-not my presence-just His Words!!!  My physical existence didn't and doesn't need to be there-only through the words.  

I'm not sure what the plans are for those left in my past and I don't begin to speculate.  What I do know is that He's already there.  He already has the table prepared and I don't have to worry.  But, every morning as I sit with Him-I feel the power of His love surround me and in the silence I hear Him louder than ever.  

'Son of man, eat what I am giving you-eat this scroll!  Then go and give it's message to the people of Israel."  Ezekiel 3:1 

It's Not Goodbye!

Life has taken me for another spin in the last weeks.  It's amazing how our Savior can turn our lives in a completely different direction than the path you were just strolling.  I've spent countless hours trying to figure out how all this came into play and to be perfectly honest-I'm still at a loss.  My head is still in a daze from the unbelievable quest that my feet have yet to calm down and adjusted.

For those who don't know my story-at 25 years of age I decided to go back to school.  TSTC was the school of choice and Dental Assisting was the career I would decide to venture. When I decided to take accept my current job at 26 years old-my only concern and worry-I just wanted a job.  I found that job and since then have been living it up for 13 and half years.  I have more than friends-I have sisters. They are my extended family and they too can't be replaced.  Together, we have watched our children grow, we have seen each other through some tough battles, laughed our way through tears. I've watched others leave and they are still my sisters.  I, myself, have grown in that office and am a better woman because of it.  Funny how all that can happen in one small work area.  Day in and day out-hours turns into weeks and weeks turn into years.  Before you realize you're shedding tears as you begin to realize that this too is another phase in your life.  I've had so many chapters close in my life the last couple of months that I'm beginning to see that God has a whole other book written.  I'm still shedding tears from my oldest leaving home for college-it's been two years!  When will I get to breathe it all in?  I don't know if I really want to know the answer to that question.  Because if I do then it would mean that the blessings would have slowed down and I would have stopped appreciating all God's given me and my family.  I'm not ready to slow down and I'm definitely not ready to stop praising Him.

But, this isn't the story about my career choice rather about the moment in life to answer a call.  He's called me out to trust.  It wasn't an easy choice to leave behind the only place I've called home during my working hours.  He knew how disheartened I felt at His repeated urging to make the move.  The sleeplessness nights that I prayed for Him to give me peace. I won't deny that I asked why although I knew the answers.

Why was it so hard?

My sisters...to know that there would be no more days with them still brings tears to my eyes.

As my family and I prayed for Him to show us the way-I began to see more and more of His presence. When I surrendered to His call-I felt a breath-taking peace surround me.  I knew in that moment that He would lead me and that He would take care of them just as He had done in the past-just as He has done for each of my sisters that have come to our little family and left to new adventures.

This isn't a farewell-I'll see you soon!

 It was fun and I had a blast!



***All other photos-Pre Facebook-in other words-too old!!!!