Are You Normal?

Define NORMAL.

Have you ever wondered who gets to say what is "normal"? I mean-who sets the standards?  Does it ever change?

I imagine you can see where this is going. I'm actually sitting in my bed at 4am...yes people...4AM!  (I'll definitely have to proofread) Is that normal? There was a time that I'm sure it wasn't normal. You were in maybe dream number two by this time?

But, today?

I've heard a lot of my friends say that waking up with the inability to get back to sleep-well it's become the new norm. We can't sleep because we're thinking so much- our brain is running it's own marathon.  No other contestants-just your brain.

What about family? Is your family "normal"?
I can see the heads swaying to and fro.

But, who defined it?

If I was writing my own story-my family's journey would start with a white picket fence.  Husband, wife, two kids, a dog and a cat. (Those of you who know-not a cat fan-had cat scratch fever and NO it's not just a song. ) I'd bake cookies before the children came home from school (bahaha) and dinner would be ready and set on the table before my hubby arrived home from work (now I'm rolling).
I did say it was a story...I'm no June Cleaver. Baking cookies before the kids get home? The only cookies they have come prepackaged.
My real story doesn't come close. Don't get me wrong...I have the house and the hubby with the two kids plus three more beautiful nieces.  We have family trials that would blow your mind. 

I scream sometimes-"WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE NORMAL?!"

Once He settles my heart....I'm reminded-this is my normal.

No one on earth can set my standards for normal. This is the story that He has written for me. Is it always easy to accept?  No, but my faith fights my way through all of it.
I wouldn't have it any other way and thankfully He writes and paints my story. (I can't draw a stick figure)

The Author continues to write the pages of my crazy life ( I mean really?  Cat scratch fever?) I look forward to one day reading back and smiling at it all.

What's your "normal"?

* Don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd. *

What's Your Story?

Before vintage was really the "in" thing-Joe and I would take trips and visit antique shops.  I enjoyed our time together then-browsing among the old and rustic.  There were dainty commodities that would make my eyes twinkle and huge articles that made my mind wonder, "what in the world."-thankful I live today.

Time passed and we stopped making our visits, but loving something never really stops does it?

Once the vintage and the old became the new "new"-I was all in!  I was hysterical that there were so many places here in town that now had these pieces.  Don't get me wrong-it doesn't mean I buy every piece I see-it actually has to speak to me for it to make the trip home with me.

My spot!

Last night, I was given an early Christmas gift by one of my closest and dearest friends.  An old coal bucket-I Love It!!!  She knows me so well.  I've already decided where it's place will be in our home.  I thought about why I love old things and I couldn't help but think about where it's been.  The story behind it or the previous owner-those are the same questions that cross my mind when I find something that will make it's journey home.

My new favorite treasure!

Everyone has a story!

Driving to work I reflected on a recent conversation.  I, myself, at one time was ashamed of my past story.  I wanted to disregard where I came from and my family issues.  I wasn't abused nor did I grow up in need.  It was actually the opposite.  But, behind the all the desires of every little girls heart was the nightmare of drug abuse.  Money couldn't save me from that darkness.

Drugs would continue to have it's grasp on my family's life from here on out.  Although I have not allowed his hands to choke my growing family, what it has done to my love ones surrounding me has had it's lasting effects.  I'm no longer hesitant about my past-she is apart of what has made me the person I am today.  For that I am forever thankful.

Maybe this is why I'm intrigued by these inanimate objects of the past.  Each one holds a secret memoir and though they cannot tell their story-they have character.

Love this little piece.

What's your story? 

Stains on the Carpet

I pass the soccer fields every morning on my way to work.  Funny how there was a time when I thought "here we go again"! Early morning games on cold winter mornings or days when it would rain and my feet would gush in the muddy aftermath.

Soccer fields

Yuck!

I dreaded getting the boys out of their dirty uniforms and hosing them down.  I had to rush them through the house in hopes that they wouldn't ruin my carpet and leave mud stains all over the place.  Amusing really!

My Little Soccer Players

Why you ask?

Because I don't remember the color of the carpet in that old house.  I remember the smiles on Jonathan's face when he won the game and Julian's grin when he had the after game snack.  I can clearly look back and recall the sweet faces as they slept in the back of the car after a hard game.  Those are the treasures that still take my breath away.

So, why did I focus so much on that carpet?  I could have enjoyed so many more days had I not focused on what didn't matter.  I'm not saying that I don't have my moments today-that I don't lose myself in the darkness of the world.  Because I'm human-I do!

Today, I take my days slower.  I enjoy my kids and every moment I have with each of them.  If you can imagine -I don't worry about the mud that may track through my house.  The carpet can be replaced, but the time I have with them will only happen once. I want to make more memories that will turn into my treasure-having my breath taken away -it's like God's sweet kiss on my forehead.

Are you worried about stains on the carpet?

Where's the Exit?

Ever feel that your mind is screaming so loud you can't hear yourself think? I'm sure you know exactly what I mean. I'm sure everyone has those days-if I'm the only one-I'm worried!

My brain is streaming tunes so deafening I can't make out the words the person talking to me is saying.  I find myself asking them to repeat themselves over and over again.  Still there is no comprehending.  I can't be still-I can't find the volume.  Someone has taken the controls and discarded of them.

They say that the eyes are the window to your soul, but they too have been sealed by the roaring. My vision has become blurred (nope glasses aren't the trick).  I suddenly begin to trek further into places that  feel strangely unfamiliar. I don't think I've traveled this far down the road of despair before-I don't like it here. The feelings are not recognizable and I want to know what I'm doing here. Better yet~ HOW did I get here?

I don't know what the scariest part of the journey is-the awareness or the actuality that I'm not exempt from it.

I awake this morning with a strong mental impression of two nights before.  See, our church held it's annual Advent by Candlelight.  Each table elegantly displayed-bringing Honor to our Savior in preparation for the season.  I always enjoy taking part in the moment-the music and fellowship.  I walk away from the evening feeling triumphant-not with myself, but with belonging to Him and in Him. Walking away that night was no different.

Just Some of the beautiful tables from Advent by Candlelight 2013

Sitting quietly, memory of the soft candle that danced before me materialized.  I had taken a picture of it-it was simple and I find beauty in simple.  Only He knew that I would need that visualization to call upon along with Psalm 42:4-5,

"Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God!  I will praise Him again—my Savior and my God!"

 Our God is marvelous and wonderful. 

His whispers yet again give me confirmation. My days here on this earth will sometimes find the road of despondency, but thankfully He will always provide an exit. 

Get Out of The Clouds!

During the holidays my mind will often drift into a cloud. We tend to make Christmas into the "next big thing" and making sure we have it under the tree.  It's what we, as a society, have made it into. More about the glitter and less about the Savior.

I drove to work the other morning in dense fog-my eyes drilled their way through the white sheet.  I could faintly see the tires of the car in front of me feels it's way down the asphalt. I always waver in these elements-there's a precaution that races through my body.  I'm fidgety behind the wheel because I can't identify what's ahead of me.  My mood becomes heated as the person in front of becomes that unwise motorist you always warn your children to avoid.

I'm trapped in this grounded cloud and this isn't just today as I drive to work, but more often than I care to admit.  I end up finding that I too fall in step with everyone else during my shopping endeavor.  As I stand in line waiting for the the little cashier to remember that although this is her job-it's not mine-I have one to get back to.  I blitz to the left, to the right and make a mad dash to my car.

UGH!!!!

My heart is galloping as I race to work.

"I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date..." (that crazy fuzzy white rabbit in Alice in Wonderland)

Alice in Wonderland

Settling in- I finally hear the music playing on the radio-the sweet sounds that bring me back to the real meaning of Christmas.  How fruitless I had been during my hour-when I could have used that time to recognize the beauty of all that surrounded me.  I chose to lose myself in a cloud. 

There's a church on a the road that leads to my work place.  I love to look up at the steeple-it's graceful up against the endless sky.  It's one of the small expressions that bring me into His presence.  Passing the steeple I sense His peaceful whisper press against my heart.  My spirit surrenders and the haze lifts.  

I don't have to be stuck in this cloud-yesterday, today or tomorrow.  We may sometimes have gloomy days and cannot see what's ahead, but He can lead you out. 

Psalm 32:8

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.

Sweet Surprises!

I was awaken by unconventional vibrations outside my house the other morning. My eyes didn't want to unlock themselves from their sweet slumber, but my curiosity was beginning to get the better part of me. Just as I was about to surrender  -Joe dashed into the bedroom to announce that a hot air balloon had just made a surprise landing in our neighborhood.

Did I hear him correctly?  A hot air balloon had trickled down from the sky and softly settled in our neighbors backyard?

Neighborhood surprise!

Yes! 

It was indeed what had happened. As I peeped out my front door- I couldn't help but feel like a kid seeing snow for the first time.  A smile pierced my heart and danced as I looked through sleepy eyes admired the band of colors.  The prism represented a situation both complicated and yet so simple. I pulled out my cell phone and popped the image. I mean, you don't see this everyday. I didn't want to forget it! The airship stood tall and splashy.  It's hefty presence was bold and delicate at the same time.

Strolling back to bed, I yanked the covers up to my chin thinking about God's love for me. Comparable to the vibrant balloon.  It's both-bold and delicate. In the last couple of days since that surprise-I've thought about how I sometimes don't understand His ways. My Savior can be complicated to understand, but then again His love is simple! There's nothing hard to get about how much He loves each of us. He just loves!

Last, but definitely not least,  I begin to think how God is full of surprises!  The wide-eyed, girl inside started to imagine that maybe...just maybe He sent that big, colorful, bold hot air balloon as a sweet reminder!

What reminder has He sent you?