Fears!

Joe and I started our family when we were young. You can say that it didn't exactly begin in the ideal way. We made mistakes and we share our story with our kids any time the opportunity arises. In the end we were blessed with two wonderful and handsome boys!

I admit- I had only wanted one child and even then I wasn't confident in that decision.  So, when we found out Julian would bless our home I was terrified. I didn't really know why I didn't want kids back then-I just knew that I didn't and that was that!! Today, as I look back I don't know what I was thinking or what I would do without the boys I have now. I couldn't think of life without either one of them. They complete my heart.

My guys!

A couple of months ago, I went on a "Walk to Emmaus". It was a wonderful weekend event-peace and solitude. It was during this walk that I realized what I had been afraid of all this time. I was petrified of being a horrible parent. Don't get me wrong-I don't think I was raised by terrible people. I love my parents, but our family had it's "issues". My fear was that I was doom to repeat those "issues"-that maybe they were even hereditary.  So, naturally bringing kids into my world wasn't exactly ideal and therefore two kids was ALL I would have or was it?

Needless to say God had other plans for us. Many of you know, we have three nieces who grace our home-thank you to my sister who shares her heart with us. We now consider ourselves a family of seven. Three beautiful girls! 

Our girlies-Paula, Renee and Candice!

I realize today that my plans are not my own, but His. We're not perfect parents, but He is PERFECT. I also see that I am not the product of my past mistakes or even the product of my families "issues".  It has taken me nearly 20 years to figure that part out.

 I am a child of the One True King!

Next time you feel as though you can't or are not good enough...remember that He is!

First Sunday in a long time that we've all been in church together-yes Julian is my clown!

Philippians 4:13 "For I can do everything through Christ,who gives me strength."