Roller Coasters!

When I was a teenager I loved roller coasters and scary movies.  I loved any and almost everything that was considered daring.  I probably tried every hair color under the moon-I colored my hair a honey blond for heaven's sake! That my friend was daring!  It was a rush-an adrenaline rush! I didn't need drugs to fly high-I just needed to try something new or strap myself in for a two minute ride at 65 mph.

Texas Giant-Six Flags Over Texas

Those were times that I felt that I could handle ANYTHING!!!!  I relied on me, myself and I! Every obstacle I faced and triumphed was accomplished by my own will power. Lady Luck!

Boy, was I oblivious to the world around me! I was egotistical, self righteous-a BRAT! I laugh now at the little joker I was growing up as a teenager.  I thought I had every answer to every question on earth.

Today-I drove to work thinking about how I can't figure out one end from the next.  My answers only end up with more questions. As apprehension fills my heart and I my breathing becomes uneasy- I begin to wonder if there's a speck of tenacity left from that teenager.  My strength is not capable of taking on the weight of all the pain my battered heart is feeling at that moment.  I just want it all to go away-I want to be able to ride that roller coaster, watch that scary movie, take that chance again without thinking of the consequences.  But....fear has taken over!  It has grabbed a hold and left me to stand motionless. 

God always conveys His message at the perfect time. My car speakers began to serenade "Oceans" by Hillsong United. The lyrics sang to the darkest, deepest areas of my heart. He reminded me that I no longer rely on my own strength.  No, I am no longer that young girl that believes and trusts in "Lady Luck". I have been made new.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

My heart finds peace and He promises that I'll get through this too. I will become stronger through it all.

I pull into the parking lot, parked and released my seat belt. It may not have been that roller coaster ride, but that fifteen minute car ride at an average of 40 mph was still an adrenaline rush.

                                                      "Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)"

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

                                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoZE2RsthRg